This is perfect. Make peace with beauty.
Saddest thing in the world
(Source: bornvilliany, via madinachka)
You only live once.♥
I'm Valerie. I'm not your typical girl. It takes a while for people to figure me out, and I like it that way. I'm a strong whole-hearted girl, and I was raised to be the best at anything I can. I don't need your approval to do what I think is right. I'm gonna go far in life, and that is a fact, because ambition runs in my blood. One of my goals in life is to own high income cars, I'm kinda a vehicle enthusiast. I'm livin' life in the fast lane. Like most people, friends are my life. I couldn't last long without them, their my life support. & yes, family means the world. But their more like my drug. I need them everyday or i'll break down. I'm livin' my life the way I want, so don't judge. I'm only a teenager so I'm old enough to know what's right and wrong, but to young to not make mistakes. So, it's a little bit about me, and if I don't know you and your creepin' on my page, then it's all you need to know, but make yourself a friend of mine :) and if you already are a friend you shouldn't even need to read this. So, i'm outtro.
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Ugh. I want to like burst out everything at once, but when i try the words don’t come to me. Everything was so perfect, more perfect then it ever was. I put my heart into you not knowing that you didn’t even let down your guard. She ruined you. She broke you in half, and you won’t let me put together the pieces no matter how badly i want too. I know, we only talked for what? two months. I know you and your ex were together for 2 years. I know that is a 22 month difference. I know you two were in love, and I know we weren’t close to it. But guess what, I’ve never had someone like you in my life. I’ve never been treated as well as you treated me, you are the perfect image of a gentlemen. & even though your broken in half because of her, you, and YOU alone left me broken in half. I trusted you with my everything and you left me stranded. I miss you, all day, everyday, and you can not even begin to imagine how pathetic i feel because of it. If you could hop into my head, and realize how much i miss being with you, you probably… no scratch that, you WOULD 100% think i was pathetic only due to the fact that your past relationship meant so much and lasted so long. Then the fact, that after everything, You come and kiss me. I realize that I said it wouldn’t mess up our friendship, I realize that, i do. But you have to know me better than that, it’s obviously going to put false hope in my head and heart. & especially when your bestfriend tells me that at one point you were thinking about getting back with me. If i can still cry about this now, don’t you think you mean something to me? If i can still cry about this now, don’t you think i would be committed enough to last through you going away for college? If i can’t even type this without crying, don’t you think i still care? I wrote you three page long note, and all you have to respond is “i don’t know” I understand your a broken person, but plain and simple she has a boyfriend. don’t you think she got that boyfriend in the first place to help her get over you? Yes she did. I guarantee it. So why can’t you use me as a way to put yourself back together. & when you would always try to explain to me how you are broken, how she was your everything, your best friend, your life support, and how she was there through so many things for you, don’t you think that killed me inside? When you told me things like that, i just wanted to scream, “HELLOOOO. Right here. Do you not see me standing in front of you willing to do anything for you, willing to help you through anything” I wanted you to know that so badly, but you just won’t open your fucking eyes to see something amazing that could happen between us that was right in front of you the entire time. It was obvious that you weren’t ready to open your eyes yet. & now, because of you, i’m sitting here crying. I’m sitting here staring at the phone, waiting for you to say “I made a mistake” but it won’t happen. Everyday I fight back the urge to text you, wanna know why? because if you wanted to talk to me.. you would. And you said you ended things with me because you didn’t want us to get to attached and then get heartbroken. -__- guess what. to fucking late to avoid that at any cost. All i know is even when you came over after you ended things, after you broke me in half, you could still make me smile. I can still laugh with you, and have a good time, there’s obviously still something there. I know this, because when you had to walk around me, when the space was tight you grabbed me, like finding an excuse to touch me, the way you used too. & when you held me, it felt the same as it did before. But when i think about going and getting with a different guy, and i start picturing a different guy, I can’t. I can’t picture myself kissing another boy because all i want is you. & I can’t do anything about it.
Story of my life. Fuck college. Fuck life moving on. Fuck reality. Thank you, all of the above, for taking him from me :(
(Source: leithescientist, via thefashionofhis-love)
Terrified.
I shouldn’t be so scared to tell my best friends what I did. I should be able to tell them anything, and not be scared to be judged. I should be able to run to them, and have their arms wide open ready to catch me when I fall. But sometimes I feel like their arms are only open when I’m crying because my heart is broken, not because I did something that I shouldn’t of. I’m going to take a risk, hopefully it brings us closers
